though if i take things in perspective
i am being nitpicky and missing the larger point of education

what is the larger point of education
take it from a hustler-wannabe who has read all the books for hustler-wannabes
you can get your education + hustle anyway
there’s a funny chance that if you email your tutor
and they give you a shitty reason and you ask for elaboration in a sincere, concerned way
they might just give you A+ next time to shut you up

maybe, maybe not.
i guess the more useful part
would be to find out how i could improve on my writing to an A+ standard

yep
that’s the most important thing of all
refinement
that’s what mentors are for what
A- is a sign you need to work harder on something
the email is what you send to find out what that something IS
instead of playing mastermind with your grades

yap
challenging myself is what really matters in the end.

i think what ultimately matters is expressed along the lines of
learning/knowing how to use what you have to get from where you are to where you want to be
#semantics

where i want to be isn’t an specific identifiable socioeconomic situation though
it’s just the end of myself.

sure

i just want to be at my limit

still applies what

yeap yeap

so
how do you know when you are at your limit

you don’t i guess
you just push and push
it’s easy to gauge though
between 75% to 85% etc
when u know u still have enough left in the tank
the difference between 95% and 97% harder to tell

I think realistically
hm
i think it doesn’t really matter that much as long as we’re consistently, effectively past our comfort zones
so suppose that happens at 90%

yeap that’s what i meant

yeah

well not really
not fully i mean

it gets complex because 90% today might be 50% tomorrow
the scale is variable

i guess when you’re in an area
where your performance peaks out according to an external quality standard
it’s hard to gauge the amount you’re pushing beyond measurin
the amount of discomfort you go through

technically I think you can’t
i don’t think it’s possible to measure the uncharted
i remember i think voltaire or bacon writing about descartes
how he made lots of “silly mistakes”
but only silly because he was too busy breaking new ground

can leh i think lol
i mean for me
i’m such a lazy fucker
that any amount of time spent studying or revising or doing homework
or preparing for class
is out of my comfort zone LOL

but you’ve been doing that, right
so you need to shift your comfort zone marker alr

for some modules more so than others, which is why i’m aware
that my capacity is variable and not yet maxed

like for myself, i didn’t study at all during sec sch or jc
pathetic amounts after retaining- the really “you know you’re a goner” kind
then i studied when retaking my A’s
harder than i’ve studied in my life for anything
but that’s… still not that hard
it’s like a coach potato going for a walk
to continue the coach potato analogy
would i have been able to run a 5k?
within that time period, given my motivation and perspective… i suspect it would have been possible, but i can’t prove it
what i’ve learnt more than anything else, I think, after all that pontificating and experimenting and “wasting” 2 years

mmhm

to continue with that analogy, i fucking hate walking
running, whatever
i could train for it
get better at it
and getting better is enjoyable
but the entire pursuit is unsatisfying
for me lah
whereas, continuing couch potato analogy
whenever i get in the pool to swim for fun
i always end up exceeding my allocated time
planned to swim for an hour
find myself still there 3 hours later
funnily enough
my strongest flash of insight came to me WHILE i was doing my exams
i was answering the english language and linguistics paper
and i was having so much fun putting my personal thoughts and perspectives into my response
maybe i might feel differently 5-10 years from now
i became one of quora’s top writers in 2012 without intending to
i try and try to motivate myself to study and work hard in school and knn struggle so much and then feel bad about myself
there’s a seth godin video where he talks about work vs. art and art is what we always want to do more of
nobody says “can I inspire one less person today, shag ah, lazy ah”
when you’re in the business of doing what your heart sings for
you want to do more of it

Mmmm
True.

so i think- i could be rationalizing, self-serving, etc- but i think i should just chiong what i naturally want to do more of
if i’m in the pool for 3 hours when i wanted to spend 1, and i have to force myself to run every day
i might as well swim more
of course there are additional concerns like- what if you spend all your time in the pool but actually suck at it
i feel that way about music
i love music but i don’t think i’ll ever be phenomenal at it
i don’t see myself inspiring people musically
i’m sorry, this is such a selfish one way conversation LOL
you leh
where are you at, vis-a-vis dis

I hear you
I can easily spend a few hours revising a sentence or phrase in writing
Which I wouldn’t spend in say, physical exercise lol

i can cycle for hours
running cannot
i could perhaps train the latter, but cb cycling so much more fun
music how
vs. writing

Music’s different
No actually it’s the same.
With writing I have no patience for woodshedding too
Just that writing offers a more direct route to creation

i have far more patience to woodshed words than music
i think a part of this has to do with existing vocabulary, and vision
i can envision the sort of writer i would become (in blurry terms)
musician not so much
so 10,000 hours of words is actually bloody exciting to me
while 10,000 hours of music, while intellectually fun, is emotionally a bit scary

Opposite for me

fun is the wrong word
Anyway I have to go shower and sleep lol

sure, goodnight

Sorry to cut the good conversation

np rest well

Meet up 1 on 1 sometime lah

sure

Cya