{"id":14306,"date":"2021-04-01T18:14:16","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T10:14:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/?p=14306"},"modified":"2025-01-14T00:14:24","modified_gmt":"2025-01-13T16:14:24","slug":"shame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/shame\/","title":{"rendered":"shame"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>I&#8217;ve been thinking about shame lately. Here are some riffs, and maybe I&#8217;ll flesh this out into something more substantial later.<\/em> (dec2023: this should also tie in with the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/status-regulation\/\">status regulation<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/deviants\/\">deviance<\/a> posts)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From time to time I encounter Singaporeans who describe me as shameless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"586\" height=\"626\" src=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14307\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless.png 586w, https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless-281x300.png 281w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 586px) 100vw, 586px\" \/><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">By the way, &#8220;intellectual&#8221; Steven Lim is absolutely fantastic branding for me in a Singaporean context, and I am stealing it for future use.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s absolutely fascinating to me. I was still thinking about it a couple of days later when I saw another tweet that resonate with me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless-2.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"481\" height=\"780\" src=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless-2.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-14309\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless-2.png 481w, https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/shameless-2-185x300.png 185w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 481px) 100vw, 481px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>When I posted this as an Instagram story, I had multiple friends from around the world \u2013 India, Spain, the Middle East \u2013 replying &#8220;this is so true&#8221;, &#8220;Resonate with this so hard!!!!!&#8221;, &#8220;I think its related to this culture in asia of being &#8216;too ambitious&#8217;, Being ambitious is almost supposed to be an insult \ud83d\udc40&#8221;, &#8220;LITERALLY ALL OF THIS!!&#8221; \u2013 wow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I want to dig into this further. I know that Brene Brown and Contrapoints have talked about this before, I will revisit those things and share my thoughts about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some links to dig into:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=K7WvHTl_Q7I\">Shame | Contrapoints<\/a> [42m]<br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/r\/ContraPoints\/comments\/f4kbo8\/shame_contrapoints\/\">Reddit discussion<\/a> of above video \u2013 devastating bit at 20:35<br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ted.com\/talks\/brene_brown_listening_to_shame\">Brene Brown \u2013 Listening to shame<\/a> [20m] TED2012<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"I am proud to be a \u201cfalse intellectual\u201d\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yf8ZfchCBiI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been thinking about shame lately. Here are some riffs, and maybe I&#8217;ll flesh this out into something more substantial later. (dec2023: this should also tie in with the status regulation and deviance posts) From time to time I encounter Singaporeans who describe me as shameless. It&#8217;s absolutely fascinating to me. I was still thinking [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1371],"class_list":["post-14306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-unsorted","tag-copes"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>shame - @visakanv&#039;s blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/shame\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"shame - @visakanv&#039;s blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I&#8217;ve been thinking about shame lately. 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