{"id":13721,"date":"2019-12-12T20:37:30","date_gmt":"2019-12-12T12:37:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/?p=13721"},"modified":"2026-04-21T12:51:56","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T04:51:56","slug":"reply-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/reply-game\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\udcac practice good reply game"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

There is an art to replying and commenting<\/a>, and probably like 60-70% of people I\u2019ve seen on the internet fail at it. The important thing is not to speak your mind, but to \u201csupport\u201d the OP. You can support them by disagreeing well & you can \u201cmis-support\u201d them by agreeing stupidly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every \u201cutterance\u201d (status, tweet, whatever) is a bit of an invitation, a bit of a proposal. \u201cLet\u2019s play this game\u201d. When strangers read the proposal accurately, and support the game, a shared understanding develops. You can make friends this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people deliberately choose to ignore, misread, disregard or denounce other people\u2019s bids. Others are outright clueless and don\u2019t know how to play, and sometimes cluelessness leads to worse bungling than deliberate malice (JJ\u2019s razor: “The intentionality of an agent with behavior sufficiently indistinguishable from malice, is irrelevant.”)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was a lot more belligerent and disagreeable when I was younger, in part because I simplistically thought playing other people\u2019s games was a sheep-like way to live. Why should I support other people\u2019s dumb games? Why not mock them instead? It\u2019s easy, and intoxicating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can\u2019t choose where we are born, or our family, and our initial set of friends is heavily influenced by happenstance. But we can choose who we want to be associated with subsequently. All problems are interpersonal problems, but we kind of get to choose which ones we want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many different lines of enquiry have led me to this same conviction:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The best guiding question in life is, \u201cWho do you want to share this life with?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything else<\/em> can be determined from this question. Your ethics, beliefs, actions, habits\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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this is gonna sound like a bit, but i'm serious: if there's one thing i suspect might be a cure to all ills, it is good reply game. i'd argue that good reply game, in le guin's sense of "love is not a stone that sits there, love is bread that must be remade anew, daily", IS love https:\/\/t.co\/c6Cx1rQ3CA<\/a><\/p>— Visa is doing marketing consults (see pinned!) (@visakanv) July 29, 2024<\/a><\/blockquote>