Disclaimer: If you have a weak immune system, a selective sense of humour or both, be warned that the following is written in jest and may deeply offend you. Please take care of your health and stay away from Mexico.<\/b><\/p>\n
H1N1 has affected about 60,000 people, and slightly less than 300 of them have supposedly died so far. About 250 of these are from USA and Mexico, 20 from Canada, some from Argentina, and Chile. UK had over 3,000 cases, but only one death. Columbia has 71 cases, but two deaths.<\/p>\n
In contrast, REGULAR FLU affects over 1,000,000,000 people a year, and kills 500,000 to 1,000,000 of them.<\/p>\n
YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO DIE OF REGULAR FLU THAN SWINE FLU OKAY?! The people who’ve died so far are mostly weak, frail and either in situations with terrible sanitation, healthcare, or both. If not for H1N1, these same people probably would have died from diarrhoea or gonorrhoea or who-gives-a-flying-fuck?! (To be more accurate- these also include people with respiratory ailments. In which case they might die from a frisky charcoal barbecue or a rabid skunk infestation)<\/i><\/p>\n
FUCK! You people drive me crazy. People are getting shot on the streets in Iran for protesting a rigged election! <\/p>\n
And for all the people taking major examinations this year; school closure, god forbid it happens, is not a good idea. Seriously. They’re not going to push the final exams back by the length of the closure, so we’re just going to have to cram more make-up lessons, lectures, you name it.<\/p>\n
So stop spamming me with your goddamn SMSes to go and “vote for school closure” on CNA! <\/p>\n
Someone: “Go vote leh! Wait close school again sia like SARS!”
\nMe: “And what’s the point of that, seriously?”
\nSomeone: “Extended holiday ba!”
\nMe: “and when school starts we’ll just have more lessons to make up for it, don’t you realise?”
\nSomeone: “Oh yah you’re right. Fuck! But got more time to go clubbing and hang out with friends and shit what!”<\/p>\n
Which I imagine is the whole purpose of school closure, huh? More widespread social interaction! SPREAD THE JOY, MOTHERFUCKERS. I SNEEZE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.<\/p>\n
If only there were a Logic Flu that would ask you a series of logical questions and kill you if you failed it. That would be beautiful. (I don’t wish to imply that I take pleasure from watching people dying. But you have to admit that such a flu would be a remarkable development probably beyond the means of evolution, and thus prove the existence of a very badass creator that we all sorely need.)<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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