since i was a kid i’ve always been an attention whore
\nlead singer disease
\nmust be center of attention
\nmust always have the final say
\nmust always win every argument
\ni’m still like that abit
\nsomewhere along the line i discovered music
\nactually it was always there in the background but i never really got fully aware of it until early sec sch
\nthen there was ronin and ronin was inspiring and i was inspired
\nand i knew nothing about the scene
\nexcept there were all these cool people making cool music and living out their cool dreams
\nand i wanted to do all i could to help them, and, heaven forbid, be like them
\nsomewhere along the way things started getting messy
\nsome of the people turned ugly
\nor they were all along and i didn’t know
\nsome of the good intentions became selfish ones
\nsomehow i was made to believe that helping other people was my loss
\nbecause either they didn’t care, were just pretending, or a multitude of other excuses you could give
\nso somewhere along the line, after uprisal and eruption which were great shows, things started getting messy
\nsome people were saying i was cocky\/corrupt\/loudmouth\/dunno what else
\ncrush got messy and we lost alot of money
\nmy whole approach to life and my passion came under fire
\nthen wayne died
\nthen somehow it all sort of collapsed inwards
\nthinking about it he made me realise what kind of person i wanted to be and what i wanted to do for those around me
\nit made me realise i wasn’t having fun trying to earn money from doing gigs
\ni had far more fun watching people have fun
\nit reminded me that the number one thing that got me into this was because i was so inspired and amazed by the honesty and passion of the people
\nand i wanted to inspire people in turn
\nit made me realise what my music really means to me
\nand it’s making me realise how i ought to carry myself as an individual
\nit feels like i’ve come full circle
\ni jumped into the far end pretty deep
\ndidn’t like it
\nand somehow am back where i started
\nbut with the knowledge and experience
\ni suppose that’s what matters
\nand i can’t say “i couldn’t have realised this without doing all the stuff i regret doing”
\nbecause that’s like justifying everything you wish you didn’t do or say
\nit feels like i’m growing up, maybe
\nbut it’s frustrating to realise that that’s how i feel every year
\nand every year i look back and think god what an immature know-it-all bastard
\nso this time
\ni’ll admit
\nthere’s alot to learn
\nit’s the people you share your life with, the relationships you have with them
\nand how much you respect, treasure and honour that
\nthe weight of your words
\nand how much you mean what you say
\nand how much of your words translate into actions
\nin the end, that’s how you’re measured by those around you, those you touch
\ni don’t care to believe in religion
\nbut i do care about what you leave behind
\nto the world that brought you up and brings you down
\nso i have to say
\nto those of you who’ve stood by me through all of this
\nand you’re still giving me a chance
\ni love you
\ni love you so, so much
\nand you make my life beautiful.
\nyou know who you are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
since i was a kid i’ve always been an attention whore lead singer disease must be center of attention must always have the final say must always win every argument i’m still like that abit somewhere along the line i discovered music actually it was always there in the background… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[720,389,627],"class_list":["post-9456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-make-some-noise","tag-recap","tag-revisit"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s5gxNz-exodus","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9456"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13402,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9456\/revisions\/13402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}