I like to think that almost every single thing in the universe is a part of something greater than itself, and I think as social creatures we have a very strong impulse to experience that- that’s why we enjoy working with a great team, whether it’s a band of musicians, sportsmen, or even just close friends having conversation over coffee.<\/p>\n
At a neurological level there’s something fascinating called transactive cognition, where we outsource a part of our brains to something outside of ourselves. We do this when we save phone numbers in our phones instead of memorizing them- which is why we feel so distraught when we lose our phones. We lose a little part of our minds. (It can be fun to contemplate this in parallel with trade, culture and globalization).<\/p>\n
Transactive cognition is the foundation of a lot of great relationships- the more you’ve experienced with someone else, the more you develop a common understanding about things. Each of you develops an idea of how the other person works, and this allows you to work together effectively as a team- an idea of who can do what best. Communication becomes effortless, a pleasure. Perhaps that’s why sometimes we bump into old friends we haven’t met in years and find ourselves able to continue right from where we left off.<\/p>\n
That’s why losing people hurts, too. We lose a little part of our minds- and with them, a whole world of possibility. (I do find existentialist comfort in the idea of transactive cognition- that we always carry a little piece of one another with us wherever we go. Ideas are bulletproof, no?)<\/p>\n
People don’t complete each other, and the idea that a person can somehow be complete or incomplete is a venomous thorn in the side of humanity that we need to collectively get rid of.<\/p>\n
I prefer to think of relationships as the opportunity we give each other to be a part of something greater than ourselves. The whole is more than the sum of its parts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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