{"id":1997,"date":"2011-03-27T09:12:01","date_gmt":"2011-03-27T09:12:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/visaisahero.wordpress.com\/?p=1997"},"modified":"2025-03-08T09:06:52","modified_gmt":"2025-03-08T09:06:52","slug":"how-to-survive-when-everything-sucks-by-alexandra-franzen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/2011\/03\/27\/how-to-survive-when-everything-sucks-by-alexandra-franzen\/","title":{"rendered":"How to survive when everything sucks, by Alexandra Franzen"},"content":{"rendered":"

http:\/\/alexandrafranzen.com\/ <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/a>I am really, stupendously, riotously proud of myself.<\/span><\/h2>\n

My\u00a0business<\/a> is bangin\u2019, my\u00a0clients<\/a> are beyond compare, and the personal transformations I\u2019ve rollicked through over the past 12 months have been nothing short of astounding. Growth, baby. Lessons. Vision. Fantasies = enacted. Income = tripled (hey there, Recession. How\u2019s it hanging?). And a plan for the future that aligns with my\u00a0true strengths<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t always feel like this.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In fact, 15 months ago (and change) I was one sick, sad puppy. I\u2019d handed in my 9-to-5 notice, and knew my bi-weekly paycheck had a termination date. I had a couple months of savings in the bank, a vague vision for a personal branding business, a few small freelance projects on the docket \u2026 and an overbearing sense of impending doom. Well, not quite true. I had no doubt that I\u2019d succeed \u2014 at whatever the heck I was doing \u2014\u00a0eventually.<\/em> But I knew that the immediate future would be bleak. Like, sobbing-in-the-ladies-bathroom-stealing-free-pizza-from-the-lunch-room-maxing-out-my-credit-cards bleak. And I was committed to the temporary bleakness. I\u00a0believed<\/em> \u2014 with all my heart \u2014 that it was the awkward birth canal to freedom.<\/em><\/p>\n

Now, a life lived ferociously is bound to include more than a few awkward birth canals. Grotesque break-ups. Nasty business splits. Clients that go A.W.O.L. \u201cBrilliant\u201d choices that bomb. Bad hair. Despair. And every degree of misery in between.<\/p>\n

My approach?\u00a0When life sucks, don\u2019t pretend that it doesn\u2019t<\/strong> \u2014 but make sure the suckiness has a limited shelf life. And while you\u2019re crawling towards the shiny neon light at the end of the disco tunnel, LIVE a little, for heaven\u2019s sake. \u2018Cause it\u2019s universally impossible for\u00a0everything <\/em>to suck. Somewhere, somehow, someone is grinning. So there.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

33 Ways To Survive When Everything Sucks<\/h2>\n

\u2661 Dig INTO the misery. <\/strong>Really roll around in the muck \u2014 for a limited-time (not for-life). Fill your days with\u00a0The Smiths<\/a>. Black hoodie sweatshirts.\u00a0The Amanda Show<\/a> (we all grieve in our own ways).<\/p>\n

\u2661 Get (playfully) dismal. <\/strong>Write down your\u00a0worst-case scenario<\/a>. And revel in it.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Fill up your comedy tank<\/strong>. Preferably with British, Canadian or Kiwi petrol. Try:\u00a0The IT Crowd<\/a>.\u00a0The Mighty Boosh<\/a>.\u00a0The Kids In The Hall<\/a>. Or the original\u00a0Flight of the Conchords<\/a> BBC Radio 2 program.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Get some healthy perspective. <\/strong>(Helloo, Japan. And helloo to you, too, New Zealand.)<\/p>\n

\u2661 Rally the troops.<\/strong> Who are your FUCK YEAH friends? Who are your True Believers? Tell them what you\u2019re up to, and get some rah-rah coffee dates on the books.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Go pro. <\/strong>If you can afford it, invest in a\u00a0professional muse<\/a>,\u00a0ass-kicking guru<\/a> or\u00a0communication coach<\/a>. Major life changes are like emotional Olympics. Who\u2019s gonna help you win the gold?<\/p>\n

\u2661 Go slow. <\/strong>Protect your sanity. Slow down to a snail\u2019s pace. Slash every non-urgent to-do off your list. Empty your calendar. Take an email hiatus. Drop offline. We\u2019ll miss you, but we\u2019ll be waiting with high-fives when you get back.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Symbols & tokens. <\/strong>Would a heart-shaped moonstone serve as a visual reminder to speak with compassion? Would a sapphire engagement ring remind you of your commitment to\u00a0radical self-love<\/a>? Would a\u00a0miniature light saber<\/a> on your desk inspire you to use the force, Luke? Select a sacred image or item that\u00a0confirms your commitment to possibility<\/strong>. Hold it. Wear it. Keep it close.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Traditions & Rituals. <\/strong>Rowdy transitions, funks & slumps are a swell time to forge new traditions & rituals. How \u2019bout a 1-woman Sunday Night book club? Or a nightly 5-minute Gregorian chant break?<\/p>\n

\u2661 Alternative enhancement.<\/strong> If circumstances beyond your control make it impossible to move from the city you loathe, or quit the job you detest, or launch the website you want \u2014 right this second \u2014 focus on alternative enhancement. Experiment with raw food. Master the art of calligraphy. Learn an impressive parlor trick. Pour your energy into a sector of your life that you CAN enhance, and let the positive rush of achievement flood the rest of your universe.<\/p>\n

\u2661 School yourself. <\/strong>High-impact education is so readily available, it\u2019s staggering. Buying a Mac computer? For $99, you\u2019re entitled to\u00a0free 1-on-1 training<\/a> at your local Apple store\u2013for a year. MasteriMovie<\/a>,\u00a0Garageband<\/a>,\u00a0Pages<\/a>, and every other app under the Mactastic sun. Or see if your city has anExperimental College<\/a>, where anyone can take \u2014 or teach \u2014 free classes. No EXCO in your \u2018hood? Start one, professor.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Start hanging with your heroes. <\/strong>Who do you think is\u00a0crazy-sexy-cool<\/a>? Start popping up in their sight line. Leave a comment. Take a course. Write a testimonial. Make a date.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Ramp up the gratitude. <\/strong>Write long-overdue (or better yet, pre-emptive) thank you notes.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Dangle a carrot.<\/strong> Right now, I\u2019m dangling a media-free trip to Scotland (summer 2012, baby!) in front of my nose. In times of duress, I repeat my 3-word mantra: \u201cGlasgow. Unplug. Gaelic.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2661 Write a letter to your future-self.<\/strong> Tuck it at the back of your\u00a0Filofax<\/a>. And do not open till Christmas.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Buy some glittery eyeliner.<\/strong> Ladies, this applies to you, too.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Enforce a mandatory disco break. <\/strong>During my final weeks of 9-to-5-ing, I blasted\u00a0Tina Turner<\/a>through my headphones from dawn till dusk. And occasionally, I \u201ctreated\u201d my co-workers to some hot cubicle\u00a0krumping<\/a> action. (I didn\u2019t get fired. It was too late for that.)<\/p>\n

\u2661 Clear your calendar, in the name of self-care. <\/strong>Do you really wanna go to that potluck? Maybe you just want to sleep. And maybe you should.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Get a penpal. <\/strong>Or! Take a cue from my brilliant sister-in-law\u00a0Marisa Kuney<\/a> and get yourself asnackpal<\/em>. She and her bestie send parcels of gourmet treats (like luxury popcorn and burnt caramel sauce) to one another. Nothing like the prospect of edible treats in the mail to brighten your mood!<\/p>\n

\u2661 Check in with an old mentor. <\/strong>Get some guru-on-the-mountain time.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Write a fan letter.<\/strong> Or! Record a quick message and attach the mp3 to an email. It\u2019s a fan letter \u2026 made audible!<\/p>\n

\u2661 Indulge in a heady, senseless crush. <\/strong>Need I go on \u2026 ?<\/p>\n

\u2661 Get witchy with it.<\/strong> Whether or not you \u201cbelieve\u201d in astrology, Tarot, runes or auras is beside the point. Being\u00a0witnessed<\/em> by a master intuitive is a powerful experience. Witchy men (and women) have a gift for seeing patterns (and solutions) that elude us, in times of stress.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Go on a money-saving bender. <\/strong>My BFF and I cheekily refer to this as the Austerity Program (or AP, for short). Can you use everything in your fridge, like an\u00a0Iron Chef<\/a>, before heading to the grocery store? Can you read every book on your shelf, before buying a new DVD set? Can you refrain from buying ANYTHING for a year, like\u00a0Shopaholly<\/a>?<\/p>\n

\u2661 Buy a roll of butcher paper. <\/strong>Write ENORMOUS quotes from floor to ceiling. I recommend\u00a0Rumi<\/a>,Neruda<\/a> &\u00a0Wilde<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Try\u00a0lucid dreaming<\/a>.<\/strong> And keep a dream journal.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Leetle treats. <\/strong>Create a weekly treat-budget \u2014 $5, $25 or $50 \u2014 and spend it on things (or better yet \u2014 experiences) that make you smile. Luxury donuts. \u201980s movies. Shiny baubles. Museum passes.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Trip out on textiles.<\/strong> Take pleasure in simple, animal pleasures. DAMN that faux-fur pillowcase feels goooood! Holy SNAP those flannel sheets are niiiiiice!<\/p>\n

\u2661 Write yourself a new job title.<\/strong> Maybe you\u2019re a \u201cGroup Wrangler & Functional Muse\u201d (like\u00a0Dyana Valentine<\/a>). Or maybe you\u2019re an \u201cInterface Radical\u201d (like\u00a0Amy Hoy<\/a>). Or an \u201cInternational Playgirl\u201d (likeGala Darling<\/a>).<\/p>\n

\u2661 Get carded. <\/strong>Between jobs \/ genders \/ vocational identities? Get some personal calling cards printed by\u00a0Moo<\/a>. No job title or office line required. Just your name (or a nom de plume<\/em>) and an email address or phone number. Et voil\u00e0!<\/p>\n

\u2661 Redesign your morning routine. <\/strong>Regardless of whether you\u2019re a crack-of-dawn-er or a sleep-till-noon-er, the first hour of your day sets the tone for the rest of your rambles. Goddess Leonie\u2019s\u00a0How To Be A Morning Goddess<\/a> e-book is a fun romp through 20 women\u2019s morning routines, including\u00a0Gwen Bell<\/a>,\u00a0SARK<\/a>, and, uh, me.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Drink sparkling San Pelligrino H2O straight from the bottle, <\/strong>and pretend you\u2019re a EuroTrash hobo.<\/p>\n

\u2661 Watch\u00a0Leonard Cohen: Live in London<\/a>.<\/strong> Start to finish. Sob. Rewind. Again.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

You\u2019re gonna be fine, kiddo.<\/h2>\n

XO.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Unicornicopia<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

http:\/\/alexandrafranzen.com\/  I am really, stupendously, riotously proud of myself. My\u00a0business is bangin\u2019, my\u00a0clients are beyond compare, and the personal transformations I\u2019ve rollicked through over the past 12 months have been nothing short of astounding. Growth, baby. Lessons. Vision. Fantasies = enacted. Income = tripled (hey there, Recession. How\u2019s it hanging?).… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[582],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1997","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reference"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5gxNz-wd","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1997"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14655,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1997\/revisions\/14655"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}