{"id":13681,"date":"2022-11-08T16:45:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-08T16:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/?p=13681"},"modified":"2023-05-08T16:56:38","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T16:56:38","slug":"we-are-all-vincent-adultman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/2022\/11\/08\/we-are-all-vincent-adultman\/","title":{"rendered":"we are all Vincent Adultman"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Social fabric is woven with polite fictions.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the major threads in that fabric is the idea of a unilateral self. The idea of the Person as a consistent, coherent individual \u2013 the illusion being conveniently contained within a singular meatbag, a single brain encased within a single bone skull.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Singular individuals, if they exist, must be very rare. Most people are a muddle of conflicting fears and desires, hidden in a ratty trenchcoat of narrative<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We say things like \u201cI wasn\u2019t myself\u201d or \u201cbe yourself\u201d. The opening paragraph of King Warrior Magician Lover talks about how people can\u2019t \u201cget themselves together\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ostracize, shun the black sheep of the family, banish the Minotaur to the heart of the labyrinth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Minotaur is also the source of vitality <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elephant in the brain <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inside out, avengers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Propaganda department<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reassuring to know you\u2019re seldom ever in disagreement with the totality of someone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God of war Kratos reaches out to hug his son and doesn\u2019t <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bridgerton<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teenager jabbing at myself in the mirror asking myself why I wouldn\u2019t study. It didn\u2019t work, the tyrant\/cop in me couldn\u2019t get to the deeper self, the invincible summer, drive core, it knew to hide from scrutiny and abuse<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tried to copy what the adults in my life tried to do<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was lucky to have had read books and watched movies\u2026 stories are a way for people to pass wisdom to one another past the censors and disciplinarians who would restrict it from us. We shabbily disguise them in mere entertainment, giftwrap them<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does it mean to be a king, sovereign over oneself, a good father\u2026 it is to provide structure, discipline, but not ex nihilo, not arbitrary. A good coach doesn\u2019t push you harder than he knows you can go, and to do that he has to be very sensitive to you, your needs<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clown car of feelings, doubts, uncertainty <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fanaticism is repressed doubt <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s embarrassing when a boy king learns that he is being managed. Honor economy, king has to have in some sense the biggest heart \u2013 not\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2731 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

polite fictions <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s always somebody somewhere who could be hurt or potentially hurt by any perspective you hold, any action you might take. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s are some cliche wisdoms that I will likely reference. But idk if I want to start with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to start with civilisation and society and self regulation and order and bullshit but simultaneously I want to talk about concern trolls and sneaky duckers and people <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might make people feel bad<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It might be an inconvenience to them<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you know you\u2019re not being an asshole? Well you care for the people in your life. Puff puff pass. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Civilization is potty training<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those of us who live in cities are well-trained. Avert your eyes. Don\u2019t take up space. Don\u2019t cause a scene. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2731 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do I wanna say with polite fictions <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sidenote status regulation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We are too busy <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2731 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

there’s a kind of relaxation i can only experience when being myself around someone who’s actually interested in understanding me, hearing me out, etc. i believe i have personally taken this to the fullest possible extreme on twitter and learned its limitations<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Social fabric is woven with polite fictions. One of the major threads in that fabric is the idea of a unilateral self. The idea of the Person as a consistent, coherent individual \u2013 the illusion being conveniently contained within a singular meatbag, a single brain encased within a single bone… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[727],"tags":[737],"class_list":["post-13681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-drafts","tag-ios-notes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5gxNz-3yF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13681"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13681\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13684,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13681\/revisions\/13684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}