{"id":13626,"date":"2022-11-25T16:06:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-25T16:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/?p=13626"},"modified":"2023-05-07T16:07:50","modified_gmt":"2023-05-07T16:07:50","slug":"eggshells","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/2022\/11\/25\/eggshells\/","title":{"rendered":"eggshells"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>(<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/visakanv\/status\/1595885116722941954\">og thread<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>in my 30s i&#8217;ve been coming around to learning that most people are quite forgiving. i got burned really harshly in my teenage years by peers who would nuke multi-year friendships over perceived slights and i never quite realized that i&#8217;d been walking on eggshells for years since<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>if i had to put some numbers on it I think something like &lt;10% of people hold harsh grudges over superficial trivial bullshit for longer than 7 years<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I used to assume it was something like >60%<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I assumed my in-laws would hate me forever for marrying their daughter against their wishes, but that lasted about ~5 years before they came around to something like &#8220;guess he can&#8217;t be that bad if they&#8217;re still happy together&#8221;. idk, i assume people are serious about grudges<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>also I think I grew up on a lot of stories like, siblings spiting each other for decades, like that guy in Lebanon who built a skinny building just to ruin his brother&#8217;s sea views. these people do exist but they&#8217;re not representative of everyone<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>a few tweets don&#8217;t quite do a good job of painting the whole picture properly\u2026 the interesting thing to think about is how a few painful data points can create a very compelling model that feels inescapably true from the inside<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(og thread) in my 30s i&#8217;ve been coming around to learning that most people are quite forgiving. i got burned really harshly in my teenage years by peers who would nuke multi-year friendships over perceived slights and i never quite realized that i&#8217;d been walking on eggshells for years since&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[733],"class_list":["post-13626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-twitter-thread"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5gxNz-3xM","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13626"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13627,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13626\/revisions\/13627"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}