(abandoned substack draft)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
how to talk to people<\/p>\n\n\n\n
most people are doing it pretty badly. god, so badly. it’s so fucking irritating to see how bad people are at talking. and i ought to investigate this. why am I so mad? because it’s so wasteful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
what do I care if people are being wasteful???? much to think about<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<before sunrise pic: \u201ci really like talking to you><\/p>\n\n\n\n
all my life i’ve paid v close attention to how people talk. it’s part of why i’m good at tweeting and have lots of followers blah blah. maybe it’s too early for me to say this, maybe people will appreciate it more coming from an old guy, or a dead guy, but: people talk all wrong<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dorothy is right<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why not get good at talking to people? It\u2019s a skill you can develop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the question I have to answer in writing this post is, do I want this to be a top-level pitch? I think yes. because people keep saying shit like idk how to talk to people. there are many different guides or philosophies re: how to talk to people, lots of angles, cultural differences, yadda yadda. ok, this is just one perspective. here\u2019s my thing. people are dynamic, not static. whatever approach you are trying at any given moment, might not work. the person might like to talk fast, or slow, might like to be interrupty, or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the core thing about conversation is that it\u2019s basically improvisation. you\u2019re passing a ball back and forth. for the most part it\u2019s more important that you keep the conversation interesting, keep it flowing, than you worry about things like technical accuracy or truth. i\u2019m talking here about general social discourse, not\u2026 when you\u2019re a co-pilot of a plane trying to tell your senior officer that you think something is wrong. people die over that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the difficult thing about talking to people, for a lot of people, is that they\u2019re self-conscious. they\u2019re worried about how they come across. so the important thing here is to \u201cfail safe\u201d. which is, notice if things aren\u2019t really working out, and seek a graceful exit. as long as you\u2019re not persistent and pushy \u2013 so here I think it\u2019s worth erring on the side of being slightly flighty \u2013 most people are quite happy to chat<\/p>\n\n\n\n
where will this go\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
there\u2019s some amount of \u201cinner work\u201d that will make you a better conversationalist<\/p>\n\n\n\n