{"id":12968,"date":"2018-11-19T01:11:16","date_gmt":"2018-11-18T17:11:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/?p=12968"},"modified":"2018-11-19T01:11:16","modified_gmt":"2018-11-18T17:11:16","slug":"flirting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/2018\/11\/19\/flirting\/","title":{"rendered":"flirting is about signalling interest with plausible deniability"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What I tell my nephews: <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/visakanv\/status\/1003441679867658240\">flirting is basically this<\/a> &#8211; give moderately strong signals of interest with plausible deniability (for you) and outs (for her), and then be attentive for returned signs of interest and riff off of that. If she plays with you, you can ask her out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not actually that complex, any boy who plays a video game involving stealth where you move a character and the camera at the same time is more than capable of being a skilled flirt. People just aren\u2019t taught how to speak in allusions and innuendos etc but it\u2019s very trainable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It takes practice. I\u2019m actually liking the video game analogy &#8211; there is similarly an algo for \u201cmove into space, hide behind cover, anticipate enemy movements, shoot them in the head while paying attention to the entire field of battle\u201d &#8211; it just takes practice and you will fail<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The trick is to make sure that your failures are survivable. So first identify a list of things you should never do\/say (ie blurt out \u201cI love you\u201d, \u201cwill you be my girlfriend\u201d, anything that puts the other person on the spot) and then try a bunch of things other than that<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Probably like 9 out of 10 times, you\u2019ll end up being too vague or incoherent &#8211; but as long as you didn\u2019t say anything outright creepy or corner her, you\u2019ll be fine and you can live to try again another day. Do this 1000 times and you\u2019ll get the hang of it<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What I tell my nephews: flirting is basically this &#8211; give moderately strong signals of interest with plausible deniability (for you) and outs (for her), and then be attentive for returned signs of interest and riff off of that. If she plays with you, you can ask her out. It\u2019s&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[583,602],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12968","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-peopling","category-society"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s5gxNz-flirting","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12968","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12968"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12968\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12968"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12968"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12968"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}