{"id":12545,"date":"2018-09-24T15:12:31","date_gmt":"2018-09-24T07:12:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/blog\/?p=12545"},"modified":"2018-09-24T15:12:31","modified_gmt":"2018-09-24T07:12:31","slug":"know-what-you-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/2018\/09\/24\/know-what-you-want\/","title":{"rendered":"do you know what you want?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-twitter wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-twitter\">\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\"><p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">I could probably write a book about this, but actually any smart person should be able to chase down the implications themselves<br><br>It\u2019s interesting that there isn\u2019t a single word that solves 4 the way there are words that solve 1, 2 and 3<br><br>There might be an opportunity here \ud83e\udd14\ud83e\udd14 <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/3WXCqlaBha\">pic.twitter.com\/3WXCqlaBha<\/a><\/p>&mdash; Visakan Veerasamy (@visakanv) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/visakanv\/status\/1015542000416800768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">July 7, 2018<\/a><\/blockquote><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p> What do you want? Do you really want what you think you want, or did you inherit it from your parents, your peers, from society at large? If you want what everyone else wants, the laws of demand\/supply means you\u2019ll have to pay more for it, compete harder for it. Losing game<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re vague about what you want, you\u2019ll likely end up paying a premium for it, and often find that you end up chasing very expensive prizes that are hard to win. The more precise you are about what you want, the easier it becomes to get it. And this process is v illuminating<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, I have developed (relatively) a lot of clarity re: what I want out of Twitter. I want to be friends with diverse people who are thoughtful and kind. This clarifies what is worth my trouble and what isn\u2019t. Some \u201closing games\u201d are worth playing if it helps your goals<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes you might see me tweet something and wonder \u201cwhy is he tweeting that, he\u2019s inviting ridicule\u201d. I thought long and hard about it and decided it\u2019s generally worth crawling through 100 assholes to reach 1 good person. This gives me a feeling of lightness &amp; calm confidence<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One way of framing \u201chow to get what you want\u201d is \u201cfind out what it costs, and pay it\u201d. The cost of freedom and happiness is the willingness to be misunderstood and to invite conflict. Lots of misery stems from a lack of clarity about the true costs of things; ie rosy expectations<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you don\u2019t know where you want to go, you\u2019ll never get there. If you don\u2019t know what you want, you\u2019ll never get it. Of course, with experience, you will change your ideas about what you want over time, so it\u2019s smart to be somewhat flexible and keep your options somewhat open<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another way of approaching this is to invert it: be clear about what you DON\u2019T want, what you won\u2019t tolerate or accept. Don\u2019t let chance and circumstance kick you into a life that you did not choose and did not want. All of this is a reflexive process that you refine as you go<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some of the common things people think they want: money, sex, power, friends, relationships&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do you want? Do you really want what you think you want, or did you inherit it from your parents, your peers, from society at large? If you want what everyone else wants, the laws of demand\/supply means you\u2019ll have to pay more for it, compete harder for it.&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[586,576],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-searching-for-truth","category-self-repair"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5gxNz-3gl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12545","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12545"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12545\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12545"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12545"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.visakanv.com\/archives\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12545"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}