How to deal with yourself?

How to deal with other people?

I would like a great relationship with a peer I thoroughly respect and admire.

Avianca Flight 52 crashed into a village on 25 January 1990, killing 8 out of 9 crew members and 65 out of 149 passengers – because the first officer was intimidated by the gruff air traffic controller and did not effectively communicate the fuel emergency.

Are communication breakdowns inevitable? Is it really so difficult to find common ground, to find mutually beneficial outcomes, that even our most inspiring men and women struggle to do it? Was it really necessary for Charles and Erik to part ways? Axelrod’s Evolution of Co-operation suggests otherwise-


“We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did—and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had one goal. But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see one another again,—perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changed us! That we have to become estranged is the law above us: by the same token we should also become more venerable for each other! And thus the memory of our former friendship should become more sacred! There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path,—let us rise up to this thought! But our life is too short and our power of vision too small for us to be more than friends in the sense of this sublime possibility.— Let us then believe in our star friendship even if we should be compelled to be earth enemies.” – Friedrich Nietzsche


We need to get better at communicating and negotiating. How?